My good and humble readers,
It has long been a goal of mine to address the situation of there being nowhere to buy things of use on the internet; I am often perusing, as one might, the different websites of the commercial variety across the vast and complicated network known as the internet, and often I find myself wondering what exactly caused this all to be. Was it just luck that the internet reached the extents which it now finds itself at? Was it hard work? Was it that little orange tree named Alf with which I enjoyed a number of rather obnoxious conversations last Saturday evening? No, indeed it was not, in fact, with my varied and most useful vocabulary, I would go so far as to say it was definitely not. It was, my most honest readers, in fact money that caused the internet to grow, and the commercial gains available to anyone willing to traverse the deviating and nameless roads that form the web.
Now, you may very well be asking, and I do not doubt that you are, for as I said; you very well may be, but since you are asking I will leave you in suspense and continue upon another subject.
I was walking past the ivory salesman today, when a gander about me took me to realise that I had inadvertently wandered into the midst of a rather unusual scene; a buffalo no taller than an ox was walking down the street with seven grown men dancing before it, indeed as I watched the very head of the beast turned yellow and then sprouted whiskers, within a few seconds it became a pigeon! I scarcely could believe my eyes, that I rolled on the ground rubbing them and yelling ‘Ouch, ouch, what beast is this that troubles me so? Do help me good folk, do help me!’ Taken a back by my reaction, I can only assume that the pigeon flew off, leaving the few strange souls who had encountered this amazing sight looking instead at me. I didn’t have any more comment to make on the subject, so I simply stood up and left, but what a day, oh, what a day!
It was while I was in consideration of this that I realised the internet was lacking in a very very important shop; no more than my very own Massive Fishmongers and Fine Cheesery, which is now online and where you may purchase the very finest of raisins, olives, and geranium flavoured vegetables. Come one, come all, come to my shop and partake in the custom that continually supplies my very money which goes towards* this internet connection so that I may tell you of me spending your money!
And that, my readers, is where today does to end, and where I, myself, with a pain in my heart like a yogurt being put through a series of retail-based examinations of increasing difficulty, must leave your reading eyes, and instead enter my own world of fairies and aardvark-dragons.
Farewell! And return upon another morrow that I might once more be the glad beneficiary of your find presence.
*Much of my money goes on investment in corn* or small businesses which operate in the Lindesgrad area
*I waste much of my money.